You know you’re special when people want to be you even when you have “nothing”!

25 Aug

In life you will come across people that continuously draw from you, from your spirit and your soul, your “limitless” well of positivity and optimism. This is a trait that is generally taken for granted or rated as irrelevant by “normal” people, when in fact it’s the power house behind any positively, great mind!

This limitless well of enthusiasm for life is not as limitless as people believe.

Do you feel emotionally depleted after associating with negative people? Do you find that you question yourself on decisions you made in your past because someone “brought your mistake to your attention” when in fact you already dealt with this saga and put it in your bag of lessons learned? Do you also find yourself trying to justify your actions to someone when in fact you do not need to prove yourself or actions to anyone? Do you find that people draw on your “mistakes” to show you how much better they are than you? When all that they are doing is feeling inadequate and need validation in their own “rational” way and manipulative means.

Do you find that these people portray the superficial embodiment of success; a fancy car, multiple credit cards, designer wear, degrees and other material “successes” when in reality, their minds and spirits are in a complete state of turmoil and distress! Instead of exploring reasons why they feel this way they find it easier to make others “look” bad so they feel good!

Sooo, tell me, have you encountered such characters in your life recently?? LOL!

The human spirit is such that we draw from each other, some people are like a breath of fresh air, trivial associations with hese people leave you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated for no “apparent” reason. Then you get the type of people that suck your breath of fresh air out of you, constantly drawing on your joy, your peace of mind, your positivity, your ideas, your views thereby leaving you feeling unsure, empty, tired, drained, confused…..all emotionally, of course….leaving you wondering what the hell just happened?

And if you are anything like me, It takes a few minutes to regain my balance, calm down, put issues into perspective and start to draw on my “limitless” source of joy, which is my bible, my kids and my life experience.

We need to place our trust and faith not in anything that will bring short term happiness but in something unconditional. I feel this is where religion and kids transcends all forms of joy, peace and love merely because (if you believe in God) Jesus is the face of undying love and your children exercise an unconditional love. Love in these forms have the ability to heal a wounded heart/spirit. This unconditional love is able to stretch the boundaries of a person in many ways; for e.g. A mothers need to protect her child is blind to all physical, emotional and spiritual obstacles that may exist. The same rings true for the love of God- We are God’s children and He will protect us in the same way a mother will protect her baby.

Love is the easiest way to build your spirit and is also the easiest way to deplete your spiritual reserve and this explains why a broken relationship with a partner has the ability to break a person down indefinitely, for even the love of a partner is conditional…..i will love you till death do us part, on condition, you love no one else but me! 🙂 

So how do we maintain a healthy emotional state while trying to live life “normally”? Its pretty simple, stay far far away from negative people. Well, realistically its not always possible because we all go through something that weighs us down at some time…..

Find something in your life that is constant, and people are not constant…..believe in something greater out there even if you don’t believe in God…….Do you really believe that we, humans, are the smartest beings in the universe? Considering we can’t even travel at the speed of light? Do you really believe that we are supreme beings when up until five hundred years ago we thought the earth was flat? I’m saying you need more faith to believe there is NO God than to believe a God exists…..What do you have to lose?

Place your hope in God and this belief will feed your spirit which is the propeller of your life. It makes you believe in a greater good and the need to make a difference in this world. If you have kids, focus on them for they give you purpose to live, progress, grow, advance and love enough to live this life.

Regardless of your circumstances, good or bad, the human spirit was built to excel and transcend all physical limitations……..for what can man really do to you……Absolutely nothing!…….You just start over and give yourself another chance! After all, if you have come this far then you deserve it!!

Once you establish this “purpose” in your life, regardless of your circumstances, people will always gravitate towards you, either to draw from your “limitless” source openly, underhandedly or to build you up.

How would you know you possess this “limitless” source of joy????Because even when you have “NOTHING” people will want to be around you, with you, be jealous of you and want what you have, because what you have cannot be bought! A disciplined, grounded spirit. Its worth – “PRICELESS”!

My leave of absence to live life!

1 Aug

Hmmm, maybe an inappropriate title for this particular post because is surmises the content of this entire entry! LOL!

I was so challenged by my past boastful posts about how easy it was to conjure up great abs after child birth that I decided to push the theory to another level! I had my second baby! How, is completely irrelevant at this point however the good news is that I have another very happy, healthy, beautiful baby who thinks her Mom is the most spectacular person in the world, abs-less and all! Now if only the rest of the world shared her sentiments….haha!

And NO, I do not look like a blob of flab on stillettos so quit the “yeah yeah, it was just a matter of time before she looked like a fat person”! I was challenged by the first pregnancy to break the record of reaching my pre-pregnancy weight by the ninth month. This time around I astounded all of humanity with the staggering time frame of three months! Yes, I achieved my pre-pregnancy weight three months after the birth of my second baby. I went from 68kg to 49kg in three months! Pretty Impressive! But this……is a story for another day.

I did take leave from a certain part of my life to create a family but with this came unforeseen changes to life, my personality and the future that I had hoped and envisioned. Some sad, some heart breaking, some happy and some unexplainable but all converge to a New Beginning.

New life brings change. And with change a new life dawns.

I’m thrilled to be back and forgive me if you don’t approve of posts to follow…..Just hit the comment button and let it roll! XX

Love letters – Fish Bait!

6 May

This is a follow on from my previous post The Love Letter, where I received the world’s most remarkable love letter. Needless to say, i threw all inhibitions to the wind and decided to meet the writer of my love letter…..Who turned out to be a complete ass in reality.

I had created an impression of the writer in my mind to be a hopeless romantic who would whisk me away on his mighty steed. Oh how sadly mistaken i was. He was far from romantic, drank excessively to calm his nerves, unable to look at me during a conversation and had to constantly be on the phone with his friends. My expectations and impression of the writer took a striking plunge into a pile of thrash! At the first meeting i knew that it was the first and last meeting with this person. Two weeks later the relationship progressed to non-existent.

The experience with this writer quickly brought me to the realization that people who write love letters are dreamers and live only in the fantastical realm. The reason they choose to write a letter instead of conveying their feelings to their potential love interest in person is because they are downright retards, insecure, low self esteem and slow witted individuals who hide behind fancy words. There is a reason these people are single, and in my opinion should remain so unless they find their equivalent opposite. In hindsight, every person that ever wrote a love letter to me turned out to be psycho, possessive, jealous, inadequate in more ways than one.

Love letters are merely a form of bait. The size of the catch is directly influenced by the quality and style of the writing. Once the catch is hauled in then standards need to be maintained. Inability to maintain the standard set by the bait will immediately or ultimately result in the fish going back to familiar waters and fair game for other fishermen!

As in my experience …. Thankfully so!

The Love Letter

18 Sep

“Words are the power of language used to achieve a desired effect……but words fail me now hopelessly.”

I have been described as quick witted, intellectually stimulating, extremely analytical and at the same time a retard in the area of love. It is discouraging when attempting to convince the unbeliever of the existence of love. It is no secret; I am not a believer in love and we as human beings are more than capable of living a lifetime without the love of a partner!

Let us begin on the premise that I do not know one happily married couple out there or a single couple in a happy relationship. Every single person, both male and female has a nasty love experience to relate. I will not attempt to discuss the reasons that cause break ups or unhappiness in relations; they are innumerable to mention.

After my rather dreadful experience this year with my ex, I undertook a solemn vow to never get involved in the love scene for the rest of my earthly life. The idea of falling into the love trap again was the most revolting thought I ever conjured up in my mind. (And if you know me personally you would know that my mind is capable of outlandish possibilities.) LOL!

Three weeks ago I met a guy online who was intrigued by my conversational skills and as you all are familiar with the concept of online flirting, it’s just so easy to play around with words. SO what started off as a playful chat quickly turned into a serious, emotional mind blowing relation. And yes I know, you are also familiar with this. But here’s where the twist began.

None of the chats were remotely related to sex or of sexual intent. The entire experience revolved around the idea of love and not lust which ultimately triggered thoughts of yearning, desire and an unexplainable aching to be with the other person. Yet still no mention was made of these feelings by either party. It was like a crazy and youthful game much like our days in junior high.

A week after these chats began I received a letter, in my inbox 🙂 A love letter to me. Flabbergasted to say the VERY least! I mean, like really people, in this day and age who writes a love letter. So I began to read my love letter with every intention of making fun of the content and the writer. However that moment did not appear! I was astonished at his careful, non-comittent, untainted authentic approach to love. Innocent and pure. The way everyone imagines true love to be. It was in this very moment that I was blinded to the world, my past and my disbelief in Love. I was able to see a person I had never met more clearly than I could see my own hand in front of my eyes.

I pinched myself to see if this out of body experience was real. It was. So typically in The Socialite style, I needed a second opinion, a second opinion on my second opinion and so on until everyone agreed on the content and the writer! I had to be careful when sharing my letter as I did respect my writers feelings and privacy as he had entrusted me with his emotions. After much deliberation I showed my closest friends (3) and my stepfather the letter. All my readers unanimously agreed and shared my thoughts. It was undeniable that this letter was sincere, well documented, nothing short of the perfect love letter for 2012, in my opinion, throughout history. ;P

Another remarkably striking element that needs mention is that the writer of my letter was more astounded by my reaction to his writing than the ability he had to invoke emotional change with his influential words. His ingenuous temperament and unadulterated spirit appealed to something within me that said, “Hey maybe there is some truth in this hype around love?” After all my grandparents were happily married for 58years, Surely something kept them together! Could it have been Love? I wonder.

Love is like a scheming enemy that attacks you when your guard is down. When you are at your strongest, it launches an assault. Almost to show you exactly how weak you truly are. Much like what the Bible says, Love is made perfect in our weakness.

Not so fast, I’m not a love convert yet but in Loves defence I do believe that regardless of our age we have the ability to feel that adolescent, innocent feeling of love even if it is short lived. So two weeks on, after receiving the worlds most enticing LOVE letter, he does something silly, like not call me, early enough, on my birthday. I, like the vast population of women out there, over react, say a number of crazy ramblings, stemmed from utter disappointment and hurt for what might seem like a relatively trivial thing to a guy. Not to the rest of us. Eventually one tiny issue led to a series of other equally annoying assumptions which later proved to be negligible in the grander scheme of life.

I look at my redefined idea of love but now with a hopeful eye. I suspect its existence in this glimmer of hope. Knowing there is another person out there who also sees this spark, is encouraging enough to bring me to my realization that IT IS ONLY IMPERFECT PEOPLE THAT CAN MAKE LOVE PERFECT!!!

Two notable points for contemplation

  1. Love is not attained through sex. Sex is easily accessible in every society and is freely available in all countries. Women have sex believing men will love them for it and men pretend to love women so they can have sex. So if it is sex that is responsible for you being in love, you should also know that sex will also be the reason your love will end.
  2. Now this is an age old formula and it is still enforceable in most Eastern and Middle Eastern countries. It works. It has the ability to reduce divorce rates drastically. It propagates no sex before marriage. For those of you that have had online relations, you know that the most engaging feeling is the idea of being with a person that you are unable to be with. It creates an unquenchable thirst that no amount of talking or fantasizing can compete with. There is very little you won’t do for the person that has the ability to create a yearning within your soul. Imagine feeling this sensation for months, being near the person and not being able to touch them or share a kiss. No sex before marriage these days, affords you the capacity to identify with a partner on a spiritual level. The likelihood of finding a soul mate is far greater than connecting in the flesh. Sexual relations are inevitable however it will never be the foundation of the union, just an addition of good things to come.

If it is sex you are searching for, I suggest you look in the right place. And if it is love that you seek…well there is an age old, trusted way, guaranteed to yield the desired result! Love!

As for me and the writer of my letter, well he didn’t know that he was a candidate for our trial and error research. Hehehe! And it does not help when guinea pigs and lab rats are oh so good looking! Hahaha!

I conclude with one of my favourite lines from my letter,

“Words are things of beauty, each like a magical powder or potion that could be combined with other words to create powerful spells. Words are the power of language used to achieve a desired effect……but words fail me now hopelessly.”

Absolutely flattering!

Are my abs Spring ready???

22 Jul

“I have a few fat friends that have lost a lot of weight in regular exercise routines and at the gym but still look fat. And instead of congratulating them on their progress we sort of trivialise what they do.”

Ahem…So after my last zealous post about sculpting my abs in time for the spring in September….How far are my abs from the Spring time?

Well, well the first day after writing that blog was very easy. I strapped on my vibro shape belt to my hip, lay on my bed reading a book, while my hips and tummy vibrated on medium cycles, until I got a headache.  Forty minutes later, I unstrapped the belt, got onto the floor, did four sets of 15 sit ups, bounced around on a gym ball for a while and retired for the evening in front of my laptop.

The next morning, as I intended to arise from bed, my tummy hurt, it was really painful. I paused for a moment, recollected my work out pattern and said to myself….Well Done, its working! I continued my day as normal, whipped up a huge pasta dish for dinner and dunked my face in it completely oblivious to my quest of finding my abs again!

I remember this moment very clearly, standing by the kettle making coffee, thinking to myself, “I feel so stuffed”, it was then only did I realise that I had not done any exercise. Especially after the hearty meal I consumed at dinner time, there was no way I would even be able to pick myself off the couch let alone the floor!

Days passed without burning a single calorie. There has not been a moment whereby I could even find the time to strap on my lame excuse “ab work out belt”. I have been having my regular meals, always healthy, over indulging in black coffee as usual(an addict but the winter does not help!), absolutely no exercise and the only sit ups I did was when “I sit up in bed in the morning and lay down at night”. That’s about the only exercise I have time for.

I slipped on my skinny jeans again today to see if I would be able to tolerate my tummy in the spring and well……No I will not be able to!

I need to implement at least a 60min exercise plan into my day and remain committed and focussed.

What I am discovering is that it is so easy to criticise our appearances. I have a few fat friends that have lost a lot of weight in regular exercise routines and at the gym but still look fat. And instead of congratulating them on their progress we sort of trivialise what they do.

It is hard work keeping in shape and even harder trying to maintain a great figure. My lesson here is to acknowledge and encourage everyone out there that is trying to live a physically healthy lifestyle and in future there will only be positive criticism from The Socialites circles!

As for me, my saga continues as the Spring is only five weeks away! J

Where are my abs again???

19 Jun

“However, my problem arose last week when i slipped on a pair of size 8 low rise

skinny jeans and I had my tummy roll over the hip line of my jeans!”

In days gone by it was so easy to find slim, petite, female figures. Women were able to have and maintain slender bodies with great ease. It became a societal norm to be thin. Men on the other hand would not be fat however seeing a guy with perfect pecks or a nicely toned physique was a rarity, almost like a delicacy. 🙂

I recall going to a prominent club a few years back where a group of dancers would perform. I noticed when these dancers went on stage, it was taken for granted that the female dancers had stunning physiques but when we looked  at male dancers, they looked fantastic and remarkably entertaining…..Albeit, to such an extent that all the male clubbers around me would not be looking at the women, but the male dancers. Usually jaws dropped!

It amused me for quite a while until recently, when I could not help but notice how every twenty year old male and a lot of thirty year olds have exceptionally well maintained physiques. It has become so hard to miss. Guys have taken the upkeep of their bodies to an extremely high level with every second guy walking around with a tight ass, muscular arms, broad chests, and oh so stunning tattoos to match!

The more you look around, the more you will see how women have taken a nose dive in this arena. There are the most “rounded” women “around”, very unshapely figures and badly proportioned physiques. Its hilarious listening to women make excuses for their out of shape bodies but more especially being unhealthy. My favourite excuse…. “I have an over active thyroid” then it’s the baby, the age and genetic structure!

Personally I have always maintained a weight of 45kg-46kg my entire life even after having a baby. I went through a stage where I focussed on muscle tone but weight was never really an impediment to me. I always ate in portions and generally healthy foods. As much as I was and am small build, I always knew that it I was not healthy or fit.

After having a baby I continued to buy clothes that were my pre-pregnancy size for fear that I will get too comfortable with a larger clothes size. In no time I was back into my normal clothes. However, my problem arose last week when i slipped on a pair of size 8 low rise skinny jeans and I had my tummy roll over the hip line of my jeans! My jeans still fitted but my belly roll just appeared. I can attribute my new addition to winter and my hibernation but what would be the point of this? It would explain my situation but never rectify my problem.

Immediately I was panic stricken, looking for an almost instant solution, for which we all know there is none! It was at this moment that I made a pact with myself, that I would take better care of my body, it is the least I could do for a body that allows me so many luxuries! I decided that I will not only be healthy but also work towards clearly defined abs by the spring in September.

Let me tell you this, it is easier said than done!

The next couple posts are going to be updates on my journey to being fit and healthy with a great body….more especially great abs…not in a gym but my very own way….

Wtf was I thinking . . .

8 Jun

This is a statement I hear repeatedly by friends, both male and female alike, usually after something good turned terribly wrong and eventually ended. They arise from the ashes almost like the Phoenix trying to come to life. We all go through life experiencing moments where we sit back one day and ask ourselves the question … Wtf was I thinking…believing you, not studying, driving unlicensed, drinking excessively, losing a bank card , investing money, quitting a job, not quitting a job, taking the wrong advice and even thinking this is love.

Regardless of what circumstance brings us to this Wtf moment, it almost always only happens after we made a complete fool of ourselves, lost time, money, dignity, weight, logic and most of our sanity. Thoughts suddenly appear with such clarity and the obvious absurdity of each situation appears so simple. Yet for months and sometimes years we were held in bondage by these situations whereby we could not see logical solutions that could have saved us immense grief, time and heart break. And brainstorming sessions with our closest confidantes not only over analysed the tiniest issues but transformed them into huge obstacles that further complicated an already complicated story.

I have made a very interesting observation with people in my society, over a period of time, regarding various experiences that I have been witness to. I noticed friends and colleagues go from one relationship to another always hoping that the right person is still out there.

These people are usually the individuals in our society that are extremely intelligent, learned, well accomplished, have significantly vast life experiences at young ages, higher IQs, well groomed, good looking, witty and extreme conversationalists. Yet for the majority, they have not found the ideal candidate to share their lives with. Even if at some stage they were married or in committed relationships, they eventually realise that it was a Wtf moment and quickly try to correct this mistake by ending relations and immediately get back onto the path of new discovery.

The reason I believe these people experience these Wtf moments mainly in their personal life is because they are over analytical and critical of another person’s character and actions. They believe they are always right and usually they are almost always right. But they do not see that sometimes being “wrong” is ok too if it would make someone else happy.

They do not believe that anyone is worthy of their company because everyone else is just not like them and the standards they create for themselves is so high. Virtually unattainable. And sometimes this is their very crafty defence mechanism where they are able to pinpoint, track and annihilate any threat that appears on their radar.

And if some person is able to bypass this highly sophisticated radar protection, then it is considered an achievement and that person is a worthy “opponent” for these highly intelligent people. Please note, I say opponent because every single moment and event from here on will be over analysed, theorised, documented, remembered and recalled in the future.

If someone successfully masters this process then they are either very deceptive or an equal that is interested in a relationship. Either way, only time will decide and given a few years coupled with a few human errors we will find these individuals extremely unhappy, disappointed and asking themselves wtf was I thinking…..believing that any one is worthy of me or my equal?

The striking difference between these people and that of people “less smarter” than themselves are that these people lack the ability to look meticulously and analytically at other’s faults and usually write it off to irrelevant. This is sometimes why these “less smarter” people neglect to see any signs that their partner was cheating, lying being deceitful, lazy. It always turns out like a “shock” to them.

The con for the analytics: they will find something that was never there to begin with. God forbid, you are the unassuming person that gets facts of a true story confused…The analytics will have you tried, convicted, sentenced and hung all in the same day with the least effort and your defence can only be heard by the good Lord!

So to all my friends, aquaintances, confidantes, family and readers, one thing is certain, these wtf moments are inevitable. I suggest you remain true to yourself, to your goals, to your idea of the perfect person, the ideal business, the circle of friends that make you laugh and the happiness that you have created for yourself in your own little world. Should anyone wish to be part of your world, always, always, always, I cannot stress this enough; live by your rules with a few less than life changing compromises and personality changes. You are the right person. And if no one else sees this, it does not change the fact that you are still the right person! Find happiness in yourself and when these wtf moments pay you a visit, it will not alter the course of your very being.